You might not know this but when we fight, it hurts. The hurtful things I say to you without thinking twice, the things I say without thinking, the choices I make without thinking, everything that I do out of anger just hurts. It hurts because when we’re no longer speaking to one another and I’ve had a chance to recollect my thoughts, I think back to all the things I’ve said to you, the way they must have cut deep into you, how careless I was, and then I promise myself to never do such a thing again.
I’d love to say that I succeed but I don’t. I never succeed because before I’m able to improve on anything I find myself in the same situation again, we’re where we started and we’re both hurting again. Communication is key but I can never understand your lack of understanding sometimes and the fact that you take things I say to you, twist them and try to come up with a solution when there really is no need for it. You could have avoided the way you approached it, you could have been the bigger person and looked the other way… you could have, but you didn’t. I think a part of me will always hope for that tiny bit of understanding. Saying is one thing and doing is completely different, it’s time you took your promises seriously because I fear that I’ll never be able to take you serious.
Loving someone is one thing but allowing them to rule your life is also a different matter. Love is one thing but it has many aspects to it, and it’s a great start to start understanding the demands of love before jumping into an ocean that will swallow you before you can dive.
